A Meditation

“Tao is limitless, unborn, eternal – it can only be reached through the Hidden Creator.  She is the very face of the Absolute, the gate to the source of all things eternal.”

~ Verse 6 of the Tao Te Ching

 

There is something about this particular verse of the Tao Te Ching that resonates within me.  I can’t quite put my finger on it; perhaps it’s because it connects so well with my idea of what God is, or perhaps it simply makes intuitive sense to me, or perhaps it’s something else entirely.  Whatever the reason, I am just going to have to sit quietly and meditate on it and trust that the Truth will be revealed when I am ready to receive it.  After all, the rest of Verse 6 reads, “Listen to Her voice; hear it echo through creation.  Without fail, She reveals her presence.  Without fail, She brings us to perfection.”

 

I'm here.  And I’m listening.

Embracing Uncertainty

“If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself…”

~ Jesus, Mark 6:34 of the Bible

 

The last two weeks have flown by, laden with summer activities – from lazy afternoons spent on lakes and beaches to rigorous treks through forests and over mountains.  It has given me the chance to take in the glory of this season, and the time for the lessons I have learned to make the transition from head to heart.

 

One of these lessons has been to find that state of balance where I can desire a good thing without being attached to it.  In this I must humbly disagree with some of the great sages who have spoken of the hindrance of desires, claiming that we must let go of our desires – even the desire for enlightenment – in order to be in harmony with the workings of the universe.  This is true to a certain degree; many desires lead to the kind of division that I wrote about in my last entry, in which one person seeks to possess more than another.  But some desires – like the desire to act for the good of all people and not just the good of the self, or the desire to know the Truth or attain enlightenment – are of a different sort entirely. 

 

Verse 41 of the Tao Te Ching says that “when the best seeker hears of Tao, he strives with great effort to know it.”  In other words, such a person – the best kind of person, according to the text – desires to know more of the Tao.  So not all desires are hindrances to enlightenment after all.

 

But there is a distinct difference between desiring to know the Tao and being attached to gaining knowledge of the Tao.  To strive to know Truth is a healthy desire.  To attempt to control how swiftly that knowledge is gained, to force one’s own will upon the process of enlightenment, to be so blinded by attaining knowledge of the Truth that one becomes unbalanced and moves out of harmony with the Tao itself…  this is taking a good desire too far.  It would be far simpler to strive to know the Tao and to allow that knowledge to grow naturally and organically, attaining that knowledge as it is revealed, rather than chasing after it and being frustrated in the lack of progress or, worse still, discovering something that is not Truth but calling it Truth regardless.

 

To put it in more relevant terms:  It is like desiring a romance with a charming, intelligent, and devastatingly beautiful woman, and allowing that romance to grow and blossom naturally instead of prematurely forcing it into being, and being able to enjoy a deep and simple friendship should the romance fail to evolve.  Indeed, such a friendship may turn out to be better than the romance could ever have become. 

 

Zen Master Seung Sahn once said, “People live their whole lives with the hope that good things will always come to them…  For all their lives, they go around and around and around, chasing good things, avoiding what is unpleasant.  As you practice the Way, you have to give up this human route…  Don’t want anything.  Then your true self will be realized naturally.”

 

It is the acceptance of the fate that is meant to be, trusting that whatever comes to pass is in harmony with the greater symphony of the cosmos and is therefore the best of all possible worlds. 

 

It is the delicate balance of desire without attachment, of striving for that which is good while allowing destiny to play its part in shaping that very desire.

 

It is nothing less than embracing uncertainty.

Community

“In order to become myself I must cease to be what I always thought I wanted to be, and in order to find myself I have to go out of myself…”

~ Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation

 

I had a discussion with a friend last week about Richard Dawkins’ book, The Selfish Gene, that presented the argument that selfishness is an evolutionary mechanism for survival of genes.  It essentially states that every action we take will be tainted by selfishness to ensure the continuation of our genetic code, whether it be in ourselves or our offspring, our community or our culture.  Dawkins is an author whose work is often highly controversial, but whether or not he’s a credible author is not really my concern.

 

What I find interesting is that this is just another assertion of the belief that people are selfish by nature.  It’s not a new idea.  Dawkins just puts a biological spin on it.  But here again, Dawkins work isn’t my concern.  This idea of our inherent selfishness is.

 

I’m concerned because I believe it’s true.

 

I can see it in the society that’s been evolving around me.  I’ve been witness to people trying to find themselves by asserting their own desires in a struggle against the rest of the world, imposing their will on other people, acquiring for themselves some share of the limited resources available for consumption.  All this does is emphasize the difference between those who have and those who have not.  And people try to define themselves in this division.

 

Thomas Merton writes an elegant illustration of this condition:

 

I have what you have not.  I am what you are not.  I have taken what you have failed to take and I have seized what you could never get.  Therefore you suffer and I am happy, you are despised and I am praised, you die and I live; you are nothing and I am something, and I am all the more something because you are nothing.  And thus I spend my life admiring the distance between you and me; at times this even helps me to forget the other men who have what I have not and who have taken what I was too slow to take and who have seized what was beyond my reach, who are praised as I cannot be praised and who live on my death…

 

Someone who lives like this is merely an individual, but not a person.  It is an illusion of self-awareness, in which every effort to become more real and more an individual makes the person less real and less a person, because it revolves around a lie.  It is the lie we tell ourselves that we can only be real if we are separate and distinct from others, acting as if we were a different kind of person from the rest. 

 

It is the lie I sometimes hear echoed by my soul.

 

If we can turn away from these lies and seek our identity in community with others, no longer finding solace in division but in unity, the fractures that separate one person from another will begin to mend as we remove the things that divide us, as common ground is discovered, as community is rebuilt.  In time, humanity could be made whole.

 

But first we have to stop being so damnably selfish.  And therein lies the problem…  Turning an introspective eye inwards to my own life, I don’t even know where to begin. 

 

What can change the nature of a man?

 

I don’t know.  I don’t have the answer to that question.  Maybe I don’t even need to know for change to take place.  What I do know is that I’ve a long road ahead of me…  and that makes me all the more thankful for friends to share the journey with. 

 

Here’s to unity.

Truly Blessed

Another week has passed, and I have yet to be possessed of that spark of inspiration to ignite my creative energies.  I thought briefly of soldiering on regardless, but to force myself to write when I have nothing to write about strikes me as intuitively wrong.  Something to do with letting go of my desires and allowing my spiritual growth to be more organic…

 

Hm.  Perhaps that very idea will bloom into next week’s entry.

 

Until then, I simply want to express my gratitude to the force of deity or destiny that has brought me a multitude of blessings, such that I have been surrounded by them for my whole life, and have noticed in particular abundance over the past few weeks.  I am talking, of course, about my friends – those whose paths I have stumbled upon by fate or fortune, with whom I may share the road for a time.  I am made better and brighter because of them.

 

So, to my friends – and you who read this will know who you are – thank you.  Words cannot express my gratitude for all that you have brought into my life:  wisdom, inspiration, companionship, joy and laughter…  Much of who I am can be traced back to your influence, in ways indescribable and unfathomable, such that I doubt you even realized how great your impact would be.  But you have left your marks upon my soul, and I bear them with pride, for yours is the work that will last forever.

 

Thomas Merton once wrote that identity is found not only in God but in others.  My life is a living testament to the truth of those words.

Nothing to Report

I have nothing to write about this week.

 

I’m not entirely sure why.  Perhaps it’s the heat wave that’s descended upon the city and is compelling me to spend more time outdoors, enjoying the sun and fresh air; or perhaps it’s due to the recent series of events that has kept me caught up in a flurry of activity and thus unable to devote my attentions to writing; or perhaps I am simply feeling uninspired or uncreative.  Then again, I’m not sure if the reason matters all that much anyway.

 

All I know is that I feel a sense of deep and abiding contentment…  that I could be doing everything or nothing and still find joy in it, that no matter what happens tomorrow – for good or ill – I will be able to accept it with grace.  And in that same spirit I have accepted this lack of writing as a chance to reflect on the things that I have written on thus far, to ensure that my words are echoed in the way I live my life.  I guess even spiritual growth cannot continue unabated without the occasional time of rest.

 

So rest I shall.  Maybe I’ll have something new to write about next week.  Until then – Viva Summer!

Not Systemic

“There’s one hole in every revolution, large or small.  And it’s one word long: People.  No matter how big the idea they all stand under…  it’s people that kill every revolution.”

~ Spider Jerusalem, Transmetropolitan

 

The thought occurred to me last night that we spend an immense amount of time complaining about the government.  We discuss how various situations could be improved if only the system were replaced by another, more efficient one.  On any given day there must be thousands of such conversations giving rise to myriad ideas of how this can be done, ranging from peaceful petitions to violent revolution.

 

But revolution is not a new idea.  Countless revolutions have been staged in the course of human history, and each time it gives rise to a new system that leaves some people discontent.  The problem does not lie with the system, then; it lies with the people who create it.

 

The government – any government – is merely a crutch, a necessary tool to maintain peace and order among a crippled humanity.  What must be done is not to overthrow one system and raise up another that is equally flawed in its stead…  that would be no more effective than replacing one crutch with another.  Rather, we should tend to our wounds until the crutch is no longer needed, changing the nature of humankind until we do not need to rely on government at all.

 

And how do we go about mending the wounds caused by centuries of hate?  That’s a question that I have no answer to.  I don’t know what can change the nature of a single person, let alone the mass of humanity as a whole.  All I know is that I can just do my own small part in my own small way, to strive to do as much good for as many people in as many ways as I can.  And maybe, if I can’t change the world, I can at least be a positive influence on the people whose paths intersect with mine.

 

Change has to start somewhere.  It may as well start with me.

Through a Glass Darkly

The thought occurs to me that God – or, at least, my concept of God – is the single entity that knows more of the absolute Truth of the cosmos than any other creature that has existed or ever will exist.

 

We are limited by our perception.  We cannot see the Truth of the cosmos directly, but instead perceive it through filters that allow us to make sense of the world around us.  Relativity is born of the differences in perception from one individual to another.  If we could begin to remove those filters, we would see more and more of the Truth free of our interpretation and misunderstanding; we would know what is really there.  We would know what is.

 

My understanding of God is the entity that can see the Truth with unfiltered perception.

 

But if there are no filters between what is being observed and the observer, if the Truth is not being observed at all but truly known, then there cannot be any separation of the two.  Any distance – physical or metaphorical – introduces uncertainty, the possibility of misunderstanding.  So for the Truth to be known, the observer and the observed must merge into one.  Thus God becomes an entity that does not merely see Truth with perfect clarity, but is itself Truth.

 

The entity that is God is separate and distinct from the Truth and yet is one with Truth at the same time.  As a being that is one with the Truth, God must then be aware of everything that is a part of the harmony and balance of the cosmos; and as a being that is distinct from the Truth, God must be the only being that can follow the Tao perfectly, walking the Way that cannot be walked. 

 

Perhaps this also makes God one with the Tao as well.

 

Perhaps God is the entity that is the Way and is the Truth.

 

And perhaps I am completely mistaken.  For I am a finite being attempting to understand infinite things, perceiving them as though I am looking through a dark, smoke-stained window.  I can only look forward to the day that the window is opened and I can see clearly that which I devote my life to. 

 

Oh, that I might hasten that day.