There is a very wise woman to whom I owe a great debt; without her influence and guidance I doubt that I would have embarked on this quest for Truth at all. Her commentary on my last entry gave me pause and compelled me to clarify my thoughts. It is in response to her insights – and to honor her as well – that this entry is written.
“I don’t agree that ‘each new achievement or possession, each new point of definition, becomes another brick on an ever-growing wall that encases our minds…’ As I get older, I am aware of my limitations – for example, I don’t want to learn to ski downhill because I know the speed will scare me (I’ve tried it before)!”
There is a subtle difference at play here… To know and understand my limitations is one thing; to refuse to discover how far my limits lie is another. There is great value in experience and wisdom – if I try a new sport and discover that it does not bring me any enjoyment, it would be ridiculous to continue it simply for the sake of keeping myself open to experiences. But refusing to try a new sport at all because I believe that I will not enjoy it – without having any reason for this belief – is just as ridiculous.
But perhaps this example is too narrow a focus for the picture that I’m trying to see… A different one may serve better. If I were to travel to a distant country and find that my experience there was not enjoyable, I would be a fool to settle down there in a stubborn attempt to keep an open mind. In this sense I must respect my experience. But I would be just as foolish to close my mind to the possibility to settling down there in the future; nothing stays the same from day to day, and I may change to accept the country – or the country may change to become acceptable to me.
I suppose that it is less important to be open to new experiences and more important to be open to new possibilities. To say, “I can’t ski,” isn’t necessarily true – there is the possibility that such a person could ski perfectly well – so it would be more accurate to say, “I don’t like to ski.” The question then becomes one of understanding the self: “Why don’t I like to ski?” And this in turn leads to more questions… “Is it fear holding me back, and is it a legitimate fear? What does this experience teach me? What can I learn about myself?”
In this way, even the most mundane experience can be transformed into a mystical one, a chance to take another step forward in the evolution of the soul.
“Although it is true that ‘a child can become anything because there is no concern about being defined or, for that matter, being anything at all,’ an adult learns to be realistic about what he or she can achieve. Keeping your mind ‘focused and clear and child-like’ doesn’t necessarily mean that you will be able to explore all the possibilities without restriction. There will always be restrictions in life. The trick is to find ways to overcome them.”
I need to examine the difference between a restriction in life and a restriction in the mind. The former is definitely real and needs to be overcome before some possibilities can be explored; the latter is merely an illusion, a belief that limits our choices to what we think we can achieve. It is the difference between not applying to medical school because you don’t have the financial capacity to do so (yet), and not applying because you believe that you are not intelligent enough to succeed.
In a sense, it is easier to find ways to overcome the restrictions created by circumstance than to dismiss those limiting beliefs that hold us back from pursuing our dreams. That is what I mean by being child-like; children have no such limiting beliefs – in any given day they are astronauts and doctors and parents and heroes – and to them, the future is infinite. They believe they can be anything they want.
But even when the mind is free to consider all possibilities, some barriers may still exist in life. The woman who believes herself intelligent enough for medical school but cannot afford it would be foolish to pursue that goal until she had found a way to overcome this financial challenge. In this lies the difference between being child-like and child-ish: the childish mind may attempt a challenge without applying adult wisdom to first deal with very real concerns, turning a difficult situation into an impossible one; in contrast, the child-like mind can remain open to new possibilities, even while acknowledging and accepting the restrictions that fate may impose.
So what does all this mean? I must strive to maintain a child-like mind, open to all possibilities without bias or judgment, yet tempered by a sense of realism attained through experience. I must seek the balance between the wisdom of maturity and the innocence of youth… and, once I have found it, I must put it into practice. Whether the seeking or the practice will be the easier task remains to be seen.
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